Farewell, For Now

I started this blog because I love reading blogs. I wanted to try my out my own voice in the blogging world. I haven't been able to quite crystallize my exact mission here though, and that makes figuring out posts difficult. I don't want to say something just for the sake of talking. Since I don't know what I want to do here, I have decided to leave. I am glad that I had a chance to practice this for a while and I want to blog again in the future. It won't be here, however. I learned valuable practical blogging information and I learned what I like and don't like about blogging. Thank you for coming along with me. Cheers!

Tempeh for one?

I get a lot of weird looks for my brown bag lunches at work. My meals include a lot of chickpeas, black beans, quinoa, kale, and lentils. Sometimes in a pinch, I bring a frozen black bean burger and some vegan cheese with a pita. Oh and Sriracha. Lots and lots of Sriracha.

Based on health, ecological, and moral (is that the right word?) reasons, I no longer eat any dairy nor factory farmed meat or eggs. I've also been avoiding fish until I can figure out which kinds are truly sustainable and fished in a way that does not harm the environment.

This change in my diet means that I only eat meat from my mom's farm and this happens about once a week-tops. I still love eggs, but I will only take them from her farm or from another farm in the area where the chickens are truly free range. Grocery store "free range" eggs largely are not.

Switching over to a mostly plant based diet has not been a huge deal for me. It turns out that I like almond milk or rice milk in my coffee and cereal. Vegan cheese is okay on a black bean burger or a grilled cheese sandwich. Nutritional yeast is BOSS on popcorn. I didn't like cooking with meat anyway and my mom raised us to enjoy things like black beans, hummus, brown rice, and nuts. I know how to get protein from other sources and I really love all different veggies-the greener and weirder the better.

Plus, by omitting factory farmed meat, dairy, and eggs, I am supporting something about which I care deeply. I think that factory farming is horrific. Why do we have laws against animal abuse for pets, yet allow atrocious abuse of the animals we plan to eat? I am not arguing the eventual fate of these animals. We want to eat them as meat. I get that. What I do not think is acceptable is that we abuse them throughout their lives. We should offer respect for the animals we eat; it is the least we can do. I don't think it is okay for people to turn a blind eye to the state of factory farmed animals because they don't want to deal with it. This makes me really fired up.

And yet, here is the dilemma: factory farming produces cheap meat. How can I tell someone to stop buying their inexpensive meat and live the way that I do? They don't have my circumstance. They don't have a mom who gives them farm raised beef (and duck-oh, the duck) and eggs. They might not have been raised to be satisfied with meat-free meals or feel comfortable cooking their own food. So how do I deal with this when I carry my brown bag of weird food? I am opening up more than a container of tabbouleh; I am opening up a Pandora's box of moral, societal, and personal issues. When I get those good-natured laughs about my weird lunches, should I open up about why I make these choices, or leave well alone? I don't know if I can share this without sounding preachy. Do I scoop out some tempeh for all, or keep it to myself?

Please please please let me get spring

Things have been quiet over here. I have not had much to say. There haven't been too many projects, thoughts, or happenings. Everyone hibernates a little in winter. Mine hasn't been so much the cozy cuddles as the scrunch on the couch, pleading for it all to be over.

Hell is not hot. Hell is cold and much more frightening. Picture Laura spending months twisting straw into burnable "logs" so the whole family doesn't freeze to death in Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Long Winter. A Willa Cather novel, with the depictions of the endless, barren winter landscape under a crushing sky is more terrifying than a Stephen King book. And, ugh, Ethan Frome. Winter can lead people to do crazy things like eat pickles and donuts for dinner and fall in love with their cousins.

As Ma constantly turned the coffee grinder to make rye flour so the Ingalls family could eat during that long winter, I'm sure she repeated the same thing that I have been telling myself every day: Damn you, Charles Ingalls.

Just kidding.

Spring will come.

I can make it through

Do you know that point in the afternoon when you think,"I just can't go on without a nap/coffee/lobotomy?" Enter pump up music. We all have ours. Mine will forever be Robyn. Seriously, I will listen to this when I am 80 years old and still not be tired of it. 

What do you listen to when you think you might sink into your own black hole?

Things that are important but hard to remember

Source

In almost every circumstance,

it is more important to be kind,

than to be right. 

New Domesticity?

I really like listening to podcasts. I originally got into them this summer when I was looking for a free option to audiobooks (damn, those get pricey!) to listen to during car trips. Now I listen to them when I exercise, cook, and clean my house. I love the broad variety of information, opinions, and entertainment that podcasts offer.

One of my favorite podcasts is Stuff Mom Never Told You from HowStuffWorks.com. This podcast offers an examination of different pop culture, historical, and everyday issues from a feminist perspective.

Recently, Stuff Mom Never Told You featured an episode about something called "New Domesticity," which is the recent resurrection (fueled by the internet and social media) in traditional homemaking, handicrafts, family styles, and child-rearing activities that are so prominently featured on online sources like Pinterest, personal living blogs, Instagram, etc. "New Domesticity" includes a broad range of activities: knitting, sewing, cleaning, cooking from scratch, bread making, canning, preserving, crafting, attachment-style parents, raising chickens, homeschooling-the list goes on and on. If you've been on Pinterest, you know what I am talking about.

In the podcast, Cristen, one of the hosts of Stuff Mom Never Told You, interviewed Emily Matchar, who has a blog on the subject and a book (Homeward Bound) coming out in May.

The entire interview was very thought-provoking for me because I had never considered the things I like to do and learn about (creating my new home, cooking, and baking) as a "new" concept. I also had never really considered them a feminist concept. I love cooking food, so does my mother, so too does Mark Bittman. I like creating my new home, but my father also strives to do this too. I have always considered creating a home, cooking in it, and cleaning it not as an issue of feminism, but just as one of those things that grownups do. I've never looked at my role as a woman cooking and cleaning, just as a person.

Likewise, there was another aspect of the episode that has had me thinking for the past couple days. This was one piece that I have really been pondering because it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. In the interview, Cristen asked Emily if she noticed a trend in the type of women who embraced this new domesticity and who avidly shared it on social media. Emily replied that she did notice some common aspects of these women: (1) they were intelligent, creative, and highly educated and (2) they did not have careers that challenged them creatively (either because they had forgone their careers for motherhood, were underemployed, or were not in jobs that challenged their creative minds).

Here is what has really been bothering me about this: I don't like the implication that domestic tasks are something women seek only when their careers don't work out for them. I don't embrace the concept that domesticity is a fall-back activity. I think this mindset perpetuates the feminist claim that domestic tasks, those traditionally done by women, are less valued. Do women seek out these traditional "women's work" activities only when they have exhausted the superior employment of building a professional career? Is this causation, or just correlation?

On this subject, I am going with another interpretation. New domesticity is not the refuge of a failed career, it is just another creative outlet that allows women and men to be constructive in their immediate surroundings that is just as important as career-world work. I do not see it as a transfer of energy from career to home, from the outside world to the inside world, that happens when things don't go so well professionally. Instead, it is just another outlet for creative energy to thrive in a very palpable (and palatable if cooking is your thing), observable way that many people, men or women, find intrinsically satisfying and comforting. New domesticity isn't something you retreat to as a second choice, it is just another medium for expression that is just as valuable and enjoyable as heading off to work Melanie Griffith style.

I don't think that I like to refinish furniture, find interesting ways of including more kale in my diet, or more natural cleaning alternatives because I don't like my job. I believe that I am creative in my career and at home, that these two separate factions in my life just call for different kinds of creativity-both of which are equally important.

Prune-Err-Plum Sauce

I cleaned up my fridge this evening and I had to throw out a bunch of slimy asparagus. Tossing uneaten food fills me with guilt. As a penance, I decided to do something with a very odd item that has been hanging around my fridge: Prune juice.

Now, now, now, before you cast aspersions on my gastrointestinal health, I want you to know that I originally bought this juice for a healthy muffin recipe (read: hockey pucks). What the heck does one do with prune juice? I didn't feel like baking tonight, so using it as a natural sweetener in muffins and breads was out. I started trawling the usual internet suspects like epicurious.com. I briefly considered something Moroccan. Perhaps, I pondered, I could cook some couscous in the juice, add some chickpeas, a little cumin, and a dash of cinnamon  But, then I realized that what I thought was couscous in my cupboard was actually quinoa. Plus, I didn't have any fresh mint.

Then, instead of searching "prune," I typed in "plum" and found some recipes for Asian-style plum sauce. Now, I have never had plum sauce before. Most "Asian" sauces that you can get in restaurants around my area are brown and vaguely menacing. However, I liked the look of the ingredients and I decided to do my own adaptation with the items that I had readily available in my fridge and pantry. Most of these recipes called for actual plums or whole prunes, but using prune juice instead worked out fine.

I looked at a couple different recipes to get a general idea of the flavors that are supposed to stand out. I also considered my current food cravings. I have a cold, so I really wanted something spicy and bold. As I sometimes say, I wanted some food that would punch me in the face. And this sauce does, in a good way.

Ingredients:

1/2 tbs. lemon juice
1 tsp. olive oil
1/4 c. apple cider vinegar
1/4 c. of non-packed dark brown sugar (a very light 1/4 c.)
4 c. prune juice (the kind that only had prunes and water in it-they usually keep it on the bottom shelf at the grocery store so the little old ladies can reach it easily)
1/4-1/2 tsp. cinammon
1 small yellow onion, roughly chopped
1 inch piece of raw ginger, minced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 tbs. tamari (or soy sauce, if you wish)
1 tbs. (or more) Sriracha sauce (you could sub in cayenne pepper)

First, I caramelized the chopped onions in a saucepan until they were very brown. I found that they were getting too dry (maybe I had the heat on too high), so I added a little prune juice for the last 5 minutes or so. Then, I threw in the garlic and ginger and gave it a stir. After that, I added the apple cider vinegar to deglaze the pan. Finally, in went the rest of the ingredients. I let the whole thing cook down until it was very reduced (under 1 cup). I think I reduced mine a tad too much. You want it to be thick, but not look too syrupy. After I let the whole thing cool for a bit, I threw it in the blender to turn it into a nice smooth sauce. I poured the concoction in a small sterilized (boiled) glass jar and will be storing the sauce in the fridge.

I think that this would be really good on some tofu and greens. It would also make a nice dipping sauce.

After I had decanted my sauce, I still had some residue in the saucepan. It was suddenly time for dinner (8:30, where did the time go?), so I decided to make something of that too. I added some water to thin out the quite solidified remnants, boiled some brown basmati rice (I cook mine like pasta), and threw in some arugula at the end. I did not use the tender baby arugula that you get at the store for the price of your first born. My mom has a hoop house and a bumper crop of arugula that is slightly past ideal. This older, more experienced arugula is still good sauteed or wilted. The bite of the arugula paired very nicely with the sweetness of the sauce. Great success.

Sick

'Tis the season for sickness. The news makes it sound like flupocalypse out there. It's enough to make you throw on a mask and bathe in antibac gel.

Well, if you are scared of germs, stay away from me. Luckily, it is only a cold virus that is surrounding me like a halo of snot and sadness. Still, colds just stink.

Here is an Rx that helps me out a little:

1. Food

When I am sick, all I want is spicy, brothy food and hearty greens.

This week, I made a simple soup. I caramelized one small yellow onion on medium/low heat in a little olive oil. Then, I added a little cumin, salt, and pepper and thew in 2 chopped celery stalks and 2 chopped carrots with a little bit of water. I let this simmer for a little (5 min) and then added a vegetable bullion cube and more water. Finally, I tossed in some noodles for the last 5 or so minutes. I topped the whole thing with a hearty dose of Sriracha. When you are sick, subtle flavors don't have much of an effect. I mostly was going for something to warm me up and clear out my head with a healthy dose of veggies.

I also really like kale. This super green is awesome at any time. When I am ill, I have a strong desire to load up on nutrients and I am not interested in those vitamin mix-in packets-too unnatural. I heard this simple kale recipe on the podcast The Splendid Table. I am a huge fan of this program-so much inspiration. I took a stalk of kale and ripped out the fibrous, tough spine. Then, I chopped it into thin strips and added a splash of olive oil and salt as suggested on the podcast. I wanted a little acid in the dish, so I squeezed a little orange juice over the whole thing. I later tried this again with lemon juice and it was horrible. Go with orange for a subtle acidity and flavor (and fresh, not the stuff in the carton).

2. Tea

I have a ridiculous collection of tea. PG Tips is the coffee of tea, so I drink this in the morning. I like Lady Gray tea from Twinings all day long. Genmaicha is also a delicious all day drink (Japanese green tea mixed with brown rice powder). For a special treat, I am obsessed with Davids Tea in Movie Night. Shipping is a bummer, so I try to ration this one. This tea tastes like apples and popcorn. It is naturally sweet and amazing. Anyone in NYC-I wouldn't mind you picking me up some. I will pay you and love you forever.

You can also make your own throat soother out of honey, lemon, and fresh chopped ginger root. This is a super awesome DIY cold treatment. The lemon strips of mucous (ewww). The honey soothes and is a microbial and the ginger is warming.

3. Steam

Get your humidifier fired up. I like to put in a drop or two of Eucalyptus essential oil to help me breath better. Keeping a humidifier in your bedroom works wonder for sleeping well. If you don't have a humidifier, sit in your shower for a while or just steam up your bathroom and read a magazine.

4. Soft Tissues

I forgot about this one and now my nose is red and looks terrible. I think the lotion added tissues really help. Also, putting a little Vaseline on your schnoz at night is a nice plan. Ugly, but nice.

5. Rest

I haven't worked out since I got sick. Of course, I feel the normal worry: What if I don't start up again? What if I get all out of shape? Ultimately, I had to put these worries aside. I know I will run again when I get better, even if I start a little slower. I want my body to put its energy towards fighting the virus, so I take a rest from working out.

6. Love

I feel a lot of self-pity and sadness when I am sick. I think the low energy that comes with colds makes me more susceptible to this. If you can find someone to brave the germs, have them give you a hug or pat your back. Feeling loved is pretty good medicine. I know that a cold really isn't a big deal. However, getting a little babied is more wonderful than anything else.

If this post is a little lackluster, that is because I feel like a gray, worn-out version of myself. I will be back with inventive vocabulary and novel posts soon. Just a little more sleep, broth, and back pats is all I need.

Sulk

I refuse to leave this carpet for the next 5 months.

Some days you get knocked out by life. Those days, you think to yourself,"If I had known about today, I would have refused to get out of bed." Then you think, "Ah, yes, bed. When can I return to You?" You wonder if you could just hole up in your house for the next 2 or 15 years or so until you can just bear to face life again.

This is a day for a sulk. I am not a proponent of always sinking into sorrow with every setback. I employ a multitude of coping techniques for stress/blues/yadda yadda like running, going outside for a walk, cleaning out a closet, ironing everything slightly wrinkly, cooking and baking, playing with my dogs, doing DIY house projects, etc. these are the things that work for me to diffuse and distract.

Nope, won't move.

Sometimes, however, you just need a good wallow. You don't want to move around like an efficient chipmunk. You especially don't want any jerk telling you that other people "have it worse" (I know they do-are you trying to add guilt on top of all these other poop emotions?).

What you want is to totally sulk. You want to sit on the couch in your robe or pajamas, cover yourself in blankets, and mind zone to a tv show that requires very little from you (my choice right now is old episodes of Frasier). Then, you want to warm up some dinner (no cooking. I was glad that a previous stress rush made me freeze a bunch of prepared meals).

Maybe you can get someone to come over and rub your back. Maybe that someone is your cat, dog, or a really soft afghan blanket.

You can't make me.

Feel free to listen to music that makes you sad. For tonight, I chose "Change Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke, "Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out" by Bessie Smith, and "Look At Me" by John Lennon. But your sad songs will probably be different. Karen Carpenter always makes me cry too...even the happy songs.

Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Choose a comforting movie with a good sob scene. I didn't have time for it tonight, but I always go for "Little Women." Oh my god, when Beth dies...my crying...it is just totally beyond what is acceptable. Don't even let me look at the cover of "P.S. I Love You." I cried from minute 2 until the next week with that one. When I was seven "Showboat" had the same effect (my weeping kind of frightened my grandmother).

Maybe have a bowl of raspberry sorbet with Hershey's syrup. Lay on the floor. Stare at the ceiling for a while.

Congrats, you now have had a good solid sulk. You took the time to swim around in your grump and grumble. You have given your brain the chance to process the crap that was your day.

Now go to sleep. Tomorrow will probably be better. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe

Anyway-I still have 11 seasons of Frasier to fall back on.

Fine. I will go to bed. Tomorrow should be better. 

Post Note: Tomorrow held a cold...

Hair Hair Everywhere

foil time=tabloid time

I have had every hair color: light blonde, dark blonde, brown, black, red. I have had feathers in my hair (remember that silly trend?). My hair has been bobbed, chopped off totally into a pixie, medium length, somewhat long, and even mulleted in a terrible incident in college.

I admire people with untouched hair that has never seen a bottle of dye. Their hair is much healthier than mine. Dry ends and fragility are the hallmarks of often altered tresses and I have spent a fortune on deep conditioners (Aussie 3 Minute Miracle remains a cheap perennial favorite). Plus, touch ups are a bitch on the wallet.

So my hair gets a little stressed. Sometimes I need to get some cut off to combat this. However...I doubt those virgin hair people have as much fun as I do.

When I change my hair, I feel like a whole new person. It is exhilarating. As a blonde, I feel fun. Red hair makes me feel mysterious. Brown and black hair makes me feel like I get taken more seriously.

Of course, hair color and cut does not actually equal real personality change. Obviously, I am still the same person and no one besides me really cares all that much.

I think that frequent hair changes are my adult expression of my childhood love of dress up. I loved playing dress up and slipping into another character for a while. Dress up was an integral part of my childhood play. My sisters and friends and I had some awesome pieces: a one shouldered pink sequined prom dress, a purple Oscar de la Renta full length skirt with a black velvet waist, pink jellies, long Little House on the Prairie type skirts. It was so much fun to throw on an 80s velvet and gold spangled gown and become a secret princess.

Now, I don't dress up as a princess, or Laura Ingalls, or a fantastic movie star, or a put upon Cinderella type (my dramatics have deep roots, apparently). Now I get to feel a little like Zooey Deschanel (my girl crush on her shows no signs of abating), Florence Welch, or Goldie Hawn in the 70s (love her bangs). It's silly and fun and one of those little joys that combats those life yuckies like Sallie Mae (I hate you forever), car insurance payments, winter, and real housewives.

So cheers to a new look for a new year and the continued celebration of playing dress up.

The new do

A Little Break

Source

It snowed here on the 26th and it has been gray and dark ever since. I am not the kind of person who gets excited about snow. I enjoy it only briefly (when I see the doodles romp through it) and then I get hit by the winter blues. Someday in the not so distant future, I really hope to be able to move somewhere where there is no snow and the days seem a little longer. Until then, I have some creative coping mechanisms.

Last night had a tropical theme. We made a dinner of flounder, mango and avocado salsa, and coconut rice.

I liked the salsa the best.

We threw on some Hawaiian music records (there are so many of these in thrift stores-why was this such an obsession?).

That's my silly ukulele.

We popped my summer lights on the Christmas "tree" and burned a tropical scented candle.

Time to take this baby down today.

We wanted to watch The Descendants to keep with the theme but could not find it on Netflix or in Redbox. Therefore, we settled for Wet Hot American Summer and giggled over Paul Rudd's hilarious mess hall scene.

I was always a sad excuse for a sorority girl, but I think that liking themed activities stuck with me. Anything to chase away the winter!

Holiday Round Up

hedgehog measuring cups-a present from my sister
a picture of grandma 

Our Christmas was a little nontraditional this year as my dad worked Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and my sister spent the time with her fiance's family. We did not celebrate the holiday fully until this evening. For those of us left behind, comfort was found in some Christmas movies (Love, Actually, White Christmas, The Family Stone) and finger foods ("Nothing says holidays like a cheese log." ~ Ellen DeGeneres).

One of the benefits of pushing Christmas later is that we actually did get a white one. We are all snowed in tonight up on the hill with about six or seven inches laying outside and few plows in sight. It was a peaceful holiday (Retraction: As I typed this last sentence, my dad started playing loud film clips on his iPad and my sister hollered to my other sister across the house. I spoke too soon. Between the iPad, random bursts of eardrum busting singing, French language practice, and howling dogs, there are no silent nights here). Despite the decibel level, we did some pleasant reminiscing, exchanged lovely gifts, and ate a Christmas goose. 

Christmas Brunch Fruit Salad (before Dad headed to work):
mangoes, blueberries, pomegranate seeds with a squirt of fresh lime juice

It was a nice Christmas. Not a perfect Christmas. The weird timing and one member of the family splitting the holiday for the first year was a little disconcerting. It didn't seem like an ideal Christmas and my discomfort with our Christmas not being absolutely perfect has been...discomforting.

Often, we build up our idea of what we think Christmas "should" be. Lovely photos on Pinterest, inspiring blogs, magazine articles, favorite holiday movies, cheesy made-for-TV movies, even Facebook posts-all of these sources send us the message that Christmas should be a magical, picturesque portrait of a family gathered together in peaceful perfection. This idea sets us up for disaster. 

When we expect a flawless holiday, even a slight deviation from this ideal makes us feel that we have failed (and worse, that everyone else has succeeded at the holiday and we should have been able to too). In reality, bad weather ruins travel plans, people are late, the flu strikes, the same problematic family dynamics persist, the oven won't get over 350 degrees, the dog brings down the Christmas tree, and people get tired, overstimulated, and grumpy. 

Christmas has a ridiculous anticipatory tradition. For at least a month (and even longer in the retail world), we prepare materially and mentally for the big day. That's right, a whole month for just one day. And into that day we pour all our expectations for gift giving and receiving, family behavior, entertaining and meals, and general cheer and joy. We want the full Christmas splendor: the favorite music, the twinkling lights, the perfect meals, and a full house of wonderfully behaved people. 

a holiday decoration that won't come down in January
Christmas lights in a tall blue Mason jar

Whew! I think that is far too much pressure on one day that has so much room for error. Something that is not ideal will occur during a Christmas in your life: a family fight, cancelled travel plans, stomach bugs, fussy children, etc. It's going to happen. Christmas being imperfect is far more statistically probable than Christmas being perfect. It's reality. It's life. 

I'm not a Grinch and I didn't have a bad Christmas. However, I do place too much importance on Christmas being a "perfect" experience and that often leaves me feeling fretful by the end of the day, like I didn't grasp the moment and transcend all the roadblocks to reach that postcard holiday. I think that if I had just tried harder, I could make myself and the holiday absolutely sublime and magical. 

In the end, this kind of perfection is too tall an order to fit down the chimney. In the end, it isn't that everyone and everything was perfect. In the end, what matters is that we tried. We loved each other enough, we loved this holiday and what it stands for enough to give it our best (best does not equal perfect). It will never be a perfect Christmas (unless you are a freak of nature, get incredibly lucky, or have the producers from The Hills setting up your life); accepting this gives more mental space to just enjoy Christmas for what it is-a nice window of time to get along with others as well as you can, a chance to say, "You are my family and/or friends and that means something to me." And if it doesn't work out, if your Christmas is a total disaster, you still have 364 days to cook, bake, give gifts, travel, celebrate, and interact with friends and family. 

So grab some grog, light up the crackling fire movie on Netflix, and smile a little at the people around you. Perfection isn't attainable, but the middle can be pretty nice too. 

The Christmas Goose

Top 5 List

It's that time of year again. December is quickly falling into 2013 and people are making their "Best Of" lists for 2012. Of course, since the world is ending in a few days (I'm glad my work Christmas sweater and cookie party is scheduled for the 20th), there is more pressure to make these lists extra thoughtful.

I considered making my own top 10 list for 2012, but then I realized that I can't exactly remember everything that has been engrossing me this year. Maybe I have been having a series of mini-strokes throughout 2012 because I can't draw my mind back through the whole year and analyze my pop culture consumption to figure out which ten things made the most impact.

I'm holding off on the brain scan for now. I am placing my bets on the fundamentals of memory. Memory isn't like a book with pages that you can flip back and forth; it is subjective and largely influenced by context and emotion. Sometimes we can't remember something without the trigger of a scent, feeling, sight, or another internal or external stimulus. I can't immediately pull my favorite things from 2012 from my brain. My gray  matter doesn't work that way.

By the way, I am very qualified to discuss memory (cough). I am an expert on basic psychology having spent four years studying it in no great depth at a liberal arts college. I had a rat that I taught to play soccer using chocolate milk as a reward. I felt sad for Little Albert. I memorized the personality disorders in the DSM-IV-TR, which I don't remember anymore...which doesn't really matter because the new DSM just came out and they changed anyway (only some, I know, calm down). These accomplishments (plus my super awesome B.A. in English) were obviously worth my 60K+ student debt, or as I like to call it- grad school application fee.

Snark aside (can you tell my monthly blood money to Sallie Mae is due?), I would like to add a very non-comprehensive pop culture "best of" list to all those being released in this personal megaphone we call the internet. This will not be a best of list for all of 2012. I can't think like that, or maybe I'm too lazy on this Sunday afternoon to be that reflective. This will not even be a best of list for things that came out in 2012. Oh no, I'm not that culturally relevant. Instead, this list is the top 5 TV shows that have been interesting/enjoyable to me in the past couple weeks/months that came out whenever. I can tell that this list will be a huge internet hit for its breadth, depth, and insight. Without further foot dragging, in no particular order:

1. Bones  

I've mentioned that I love this TV show before. I don't know why I so love this show. It deals with crime mystery and dead bodies-two thinks about which I care very little (ha, take that preposition). I think what draws me to this show is that it is largely character based. The murders aren't the most important part-the lives and the stories of the main characters are. I love Temperance Brennan, the socially awkward, brilliant forensic anthropologist. I adore Dr. Sweets, the psychologist (this actor shows up again in #2 of my list). Hodgins makes me laugh. Angela is cool. I care about their story lines. I know they are hyperbolic personalities, but I still love watching them. This show is available up to season 7 on Netflix (the streaming subscription-does anyone even do the DVDs anymore?).

2. Freaks and Geeks

This show is old and only has one season. Many people have criticized that this show only got one season so I won't add too much to that. Know this: I protest. It deserved more seasons. The cast-oh my god, the cast-is so blockbuster. This show was the equivalent to what the Mickey Mouse Club was for millennium pop stars. I have not watched the entire season because I want to savor it. Every other line is this fantastic nugget of gold. I can't even explain how much I love Sam (John Francis Daley now plays Dr. Sweets on Bones). I am sure that most of you are not so far behind the times and have witnessed the wonder that is this show. If you haven't, go. Now. It's on Netflix.

3. Escape to River Cottage

This was a British show about  Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, who apparently was a celebrity chef (not to me, but I guess to people across the pond), that came out in 1999. The reality show (which brings some respectability to the moniker "reality" show) follows Hugh as he leaves to big city for Dorset, which I am convinced is basically Eden. His goal is to create a self-sufficient farm and life in this rural area. His adventures are largely based on food (growing, catching, bartering, cooking, enjoying with friends). It is a freaking gem. You don't have to be a back to the lander to enjoy it (it might turn you into one though). He raises pigs,  makes prosciutto (from said pigs), helps manage overpopulation of deer and pigeons for his own gastronomic gain, consults with vegan spiritualists about a mice problem, etc. You can find it on You Tube starting here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOfNUrm8E40. There were subsequent seasons, so you can Hugh it up for many episodes.

4. Parks and Recreation

Well, duh. A lot of people love this show. Every actor is so on their game. There is a character for everyone. My dad might not get the John Ralpheo (Ralfeo?) jokes, but he loved Ron Swanson. I am a big April fan myself. Check it out on Netflix. I would actually start with Season 2, not Season 1. This show took a little time to get in its groove.

5. Downton Abbey

I met someone this summer who did the most spot-on impression of Lady Mary. It involved an exaggerated eye roll and a deep sigh of "Oh, Momma." I have since stolen this impression and done it (poorly) everytime someone mentions this show. Sometimes, I will bring this show up in conversation just so I can do this impression. I love this period drama set at the turn of the century England. The class drama! The romance! The soapiness! The costumes! Dame Maggie Smith! Ahhh! I'm obsessed. You can catch it if you have an Amazon Prime membership streaming free. Can you believe that PBS rolled this out? Can you?

So these are my TV obsessions of 2012ish. It isn't well organized, but what are ya gonna do? I am still hoping to jump on the Homeland bandwagon if someone can show me how to watch this for free. I also really want to catch Girls just so I can see what everyone was talking about (damn you, preposition!).

What have you been watching in 2012...ish?


Post Note: My cute Christmas tree did not make it until the 25th. The poor little thing dried out. I wanted to keep it until Christmas, but there were needles everywhere and it was just depressing me. I gave it water, but it wouldn't take it. Hunger strike, I guess. I pitched them and the tree. All was not lost, however. I decorated my advent tree (which has been super-duper fun), which I might actually like better. I know it is grinchy of me to prefer this to a real tree, but it takes up so much less space. #tinyapartmentproblems.

Success! (out of failure)

Rage Run

It was one of those days. The kind in which you can feel your blood pressure rising with each passing half hour. Even your scalp gets itchy with agitation. You know you have to do something or you might explode, or implode if you are feeling polite and don't want to offend others.

There are a lot of ways to relieve the beach ball of pressure lodged against your frontal lobe. Some are better than others. Hitting the bottle (of jugo), going to Target and clearing out the makeup clearance section, driving fast (75!) on the highway, listening to Kelly Clarkson on repeat, shouting at strangers in your car where they can't hear you, faced away from them so they don't read your lips-these all are far too destructive. 

Instead, I like to rage run. Rage running is throwing your running clothes on when you get home from work and sprinting like the wind when you hit the pavement-and by wind I mean a puffy breeze that thinks it's bad ass. You clomp down the sidewalk listening to Lady Gaga until the anger floats away on your huffing breath, or you feel like throwing up. Also, don't attempt this with one of those built-in bra running shirts that you also wear with a sports bra. I tried this once in college and almost passed out in a snow bank. I didn't realize that I was actually smothering myself. 

So now that the rage has dissipated (didn't throw up, just spit a lot!), I am trying to make a list of good things to bring me back up to a happy level, or more likely a nice, normal mid-line. 

1. My order of fancy David's Tea came in and I like the Movie Night one. It takes like apples and popcorn. It's different and yummy. I forgot to get a tea ball so I have a makeshift drainer out of my hotpot filter, but it's still good.

2. My advent tree has been a really fun activity. Our treat yesterday was hedgehog candles. Oh, woodland creatures! It is illegal to have a hedgehog as a pet in Pennsylvania. I already checked. Let me know if this changes. I wants.

3. I watched Sarah Silverman's standup Jesus is Magic on Netflix. I have never seen her before and it was a real treat. She reminds me that it is okay, as a female, to not always be super polite. I won't act like her because it would be crude not funny coming from me, but I like that someone is really far down on the spectrum of semi-acceptable behavior and that makes me feel more normal. 

4. Season 7 of Bones came out on Netflix. Hmm, I might need to step away from the Netflix. 

On the flip side-the bad side-the dark side, I found out that the Hobbit is going to be a trilogy, not just one movie. Peter Jackson, why? My bf and I just watched the 3 Lord of the Rings movies and it took us 7 days to get through them. I can't do that again. I just can't. 

Rage run time again. Just kidding. I'm on the couch now, so I won't be moving until it's time to go to bed. 

                                                                                                              

Twinkies and L.L. Bean

Successful thrift shoppers keep an open mind while sweeping the racks. Thrift shopping isn't like going to the mall. You won't be able to pop in and grab that one thing you need. It doesn't work that way. Looking for a specific item will only bring disappointment.

Even though you can't get too particular, you can still keep a running wish list of things you hope to find. Keeping some focus to the flexibility makes for thrifting victories. Here are some items that are currently on my list:

1. Leather bomber jacket (wishful thinking)

2. Fitted denim jacket that I can cut the arms off and make a vest

3. The Dude's sweater (vintage Pendleton Cowichan Cardigan)

4. Red plaid thermos

5. 1950s Pyrex, especially a blue snowflake print

6. High-quality champagne bowls

7. Egg cups

8. Vintage rotary phone, preferably in robin egg blue

9. Cashmere sweaters (even slightly ugly ones are fine-I like them to bum around in)

10. Vintage children's books about sloths

11. Retro L.L. Bean apparel (men or women's)

So...this list is a little weird. If our items reflect something about ourselves, our inner psyche, I think my items show that I am...weird. Big surprise. 

Well, this weekend, I found something on my wishlist: A vintage (I think) L.L. Bean goose down vest. 

I'm going to pair this with skinny jeans or a skirt.

I always keep an eye out for L.L. Bean things because (1) I like the timeless preppy aesthetic and (2) their stuff really holds its own in quality. Some brands are like yogurt-not a long shelf life. Other makes are like Twinkies (R.I.P. Hostess); they keep forever. 

I want to go hang out in Freeport (in July).

L.L. Bean is like a Twinkie in that you can trust that it will be just as good 15 years down the line. I don't know if the friendly folks at the Bean would appreciate the Twinkie analogy. They would probably prefer something more crunchy granola, but granola gets funky after a couple months and I can't think of any politically correct food that works with this comparison. Besides, the L.L. Bean people and their golden retrievers are all the way up in Maine and are probably too busy snowshoeing through the forest and cozying up in mountain lodges with big plaid blankets right now to concern themselves. I'm not too worried about retribution. 

Hopefully, my luck will transfer to any of you readers who likes to hit up the local Salvation Army (go on Wednesdays for the 50% off apparel deal) and you will find something on your own wishlist. Happy hunting. 

DIY Christmas Countdown

I am often inspired by one of my favorite blogs, A Beautiful Mess. The blogsphere and Pinterest have so many good ideas...too many. I have a fantastic variety of Pinterest boards, but you simply can't do every great project and recipe you gather on your pinboards (sorry, quinoa salad with butternut squash, dried cranberries & pepitas and Martha Stewart's felted basket from old sweaters, but I don't see me taking you on anytime soon).

However, there are a couple projects/recipes that I have been inspired to actually do more than pin from A Beautiful Mess, including these popcorn balls, this dairy-free ice cream, these sea salt chocolate chip cookies (I made them gluten free and my future brother-in-law loved them), this green smoothie challenge, this sushi salad, this spicy sweet potato soup, a holiday wreath, a take on this Instagram wall canvas art, and I am currently gathering materials to make this scrapbook. Wow, that was quite a list. I'm a super productive person (lie).

My favorite project from this fancy blog was the DIY Advent Tree. I've been very much in the holiday spirit this year (not having to work for the soulless retail demons from hell in a continuous loop of bad Christmas music helps). I loved the idea of having little treats everyday and a countdown to Christmas. Here was my process:

1. Show the picture of the completed project to my dad.

2. Have him do all the work.

This heavy lifting by my dad is becoming a theme. Next on my to do list: figure out how to use power tools. Can you blame me for taking advantage of another's skillz and well-equipped shop?

Not playin'

We He chopped up a wooden pallet we had in the barn and cut them to decreasing length for the "arms" of the tree.

We sanded them. I was going for rustic, not splintery.

Let's make this a little more tidy.

After sanding the pieces, we attached them to the "trunk" with a power drill (used the original holes) and Ta Da!

Yay!

So, I didn't make the frame by myself, but the treats were all my idea. Since it is no fun to open an advent calendar all by yourself, I tailored these to open with the bf. Some days have candy (Kit Kats, Reeses, the works), some have little projects (iron on fabric crayons), some have silly items (stick on googly eyes), and many have "coupons" for activities like making salty-sweet popcorn and watching a Christmas episode of the The Office. I put the treats in simple white lunch bags, marked the bags in a countdown to Christmas, and attached them with pink and red tacks (required a hammer).

I'm pleased with the results. It's not as fancy as the one featured on A Beautiful Mess, but I had a great time making it and gathering the little presents. Looking forward to have a fun little gift to open everyday!

A Very Thrifty Christmas

Ohhhh, Ahhhhh

This is my first Christmas in my own place. Of course, my family lives just up the road so it isn't too different. We get a tree every year (not too fat, flat back to put against the wall) and set it up in the parlor. It's become a tradition for the three sisters to decorate the tree together (I will not do the garland...nor the lights-I am only in it for the glory of the ornaments). I will be back one evening this December to grab the boxes from the attic, fight with my sisters, and hang my favorite ornaments.

But this year, I am not home every night to sit in the parlor by the tree. My sister has a little tinsel one she offered to me for my apartment, but I decided against it. In a rush of post-Pinterest adrenaline this weekend, I decided that I wanted my own, real Christmas tree.

My requirements for a tree were that it had to be small (my apartment is teeny-tiny) and inexpensive. *Shakes fist at Sallie Mae*

Like any adult in her very own place, I did the independent thing I drove right back home and had my dad help me with this project. We live in the country and have some fields and forests in our graaaand domain. I figured we could pick out a pine in the woods.

 Let me tell you, we were very well equipped for this adventure. A lot of blogs have DIY projects with the message that "anyone can do it!" Well, you can't get a tree the exact same way I did without the following items:

1. A golf cart (because tramping in the woods is sooo last year)
2. A crazy cool chain saw thing that looks like a big set of scissors
3. A cordless Honda generator to run said set of jacked up scissors
4. Powertools
5. Rubber washers, a long screw, a tuna can, and a piece of plywood about 10" x 10"
6. A dad to do all the work

We set off and found a good little hemlock tree (don't drink the sap, Socrates), cut it down with aforementioned awesome scissors, trimmed it up, and brought it back to my dad's shop in the golf cart. He took a tuna can and drilled a hole in it. Then, he put a washer on either side of the drilled hole, placed a piece of plywood below, and the tree above. One zip with the power drill up through the plywood, past the tin can, and into the tree trunk and a big screw held the whole thing together. Voila!

I tossed the tree in the car, gave my dad a hug, and head down to a local thrift store where I scored some old glass ornaments, retro big-bulb Christmas lights, a piece of fabric to cover the base, and 2 stockings to hang with care (I also found a Christmas apron, a chunky red scarf, some unused bows for gifts, and the kitchen sink)-all for $17. For the crowning glory, I cut out two star shapes from a cereal box, painted them with Mod Podge glue, sprinkled glitter, and adhered them to either side of a clothes pin with a hot glue gun.

Like a Martha Stewart project...done by 3rd graders

 I also painted two temporary hooks with glue and glitter for the stockings.

One for me, one for me

All in all, this Christmas tree and assorted sundries cost me $17. But I had the advantage of a handy dad, a personal tree lot, and a really awesome thrift store. You might be able to emulate this somewhat by shopping at a thrift store for your decorations. However, I would not suggest poaching a tree if you don't have some country space of your own. Also, you can't have my dad and his cool power tools.

Oh my goodness, it's adorable.

I am so excited about my first Christmas tree. No matter how you come by it-whether you pick it out in a lot, cut it down yourself, or dig it out of the ground a la Clark Griswold- finding and decorating a tree is such a special way to herald in the season.

Where do you find your Christmas tree?

Christmas Songbook

Music has the ability to evoke emotions and memories. Play me some Dashboard Confessional or Jack Johnson and I am transported back to the summer of 2005, the summer after I graduated from high school. Give me The Cranberries and I am thirteen year old again. Simon and Garfunkel "The 59th Street Bridge Song" harkens back to my early childhood; it was my favorite on a mixed tape of kid's music.

Christmas music has a very important memory association for most people, especially since we revisit our favorite holiday songs every year. I know that without some songs, Christmas just doesn't seem like Christmas. Here I am presenting you with my Christmas playlist developed over my 24 (soon to be 25) years of anticipating and celebrating the holiday. Of course, this list is not to supplant your own traditional playlist and there are sure to be many you have heard before. However, check them out. Finding new music you like is always a treat.

*There will be no "Little Drummer Boy" in this list. I hate this song with a burning passion. It turns me into an almost violent Grinch when it blasts over the mall sound system.*

This list is presented in no particular order. I love them all.

"A Cradle in Bethlehem" by Nat King Cole
"O Tannenbaum" by Nat King Cole

This whole album, The Christmas Song, is wonderful. Someone (me) lost this in our house and nearly got sent to spend Christmas in the barn. I had to get another copy, but I don't think I have been entirely forgiven.

"Un Flambeau, Jeannette, Isabelle"
"The Seeds of Love"
"Snow"
all by Lorenna McKennitt

This album, Midwinter Night's Dream, is also a gem. I love Lorenna McKennitt's music in general and this Christmas album feels fresh yet very old world.

"Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep" by Bing Crosby

Well, duh to adding Bing Crosby. A Christmas mix without him is sorely lacking. White Christmas is one of my ALL TIME favorite Christmas movies. I love it. I love it. My sister and I used to "be" female characters when we watched movies when we were little. This didn't really entail anything. In fact, I'm not sure why we claimed a character. I always got Judy, the dancer. Judy's body proportions are so absurd that I have never seen their equal. My sister was always Rosemary Clooney's character. Now that I am all grown up, I totally would choose Betty over Judy...but I would still rather kiss Danny Kaye than Bing Crosby. Danny Kaye was adorable, kind of like an old fashioned Jason Segel. Kaye may have cuteness, but Bing can sing. The obvious choice for a Christmas track from this movie is "White Christmas," but I like to throw in "Count Your Blessings" instead. It is overlooked but a truly sweet song about being thankful. Don't even think of adding "Snow." This song is deeply stupid. "I wanna wash my hands, my face, my hair in snow"? Really? The songwriters must have been drunk. And "Sisters," insane-but my sister and I used to sing it all the time, so I can't totally throw this one under the bus.

"Come Thou Font of Every Blessing"
"The Friendly Beasts"
both by Sufjan Stevens

If you can tell me how to pronounce Sufjan correctly, please let me know. In 2006, this indie band put out a five disc set titled Songs for Christmas. I downloaded them all last year and introduced them to my family. They weren't a fan. They are strict traditionalists with Christmas music, however, so I don't give a Christmas figgy pudding. I like the set, and these two aforementioned tunes are so, so wonderful.  So take that, family. Take that.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Judy Garland

This song was originally featured in the film musical Meet Me in St. Louis with Judy Garland. I really liked this movie as a kid, though I would fast-forward some of the dull sections. Our VHS version had a little documentary section that I would sometimes watch. If my memory is correct, when the writer was developing this song, he had much darker lyrics written (this song happens during a sad section of the movie when the family thinks they have to leave their beloved St. Louis for NYC and the little sister just enacted her grief through a mass snowman massacre). Garland, however, asked that the lyrics be rewritten. She was afraid that America would think she was a "monster" for singing this dark song to calm the snowman killing child. It is still a bittersweet tune, but one I want to hear every Christmas. And only the Garland version, please. Let's keep it classic here.

"Christmas Vacation" by Katie Campbell

This is a weird picture, but the only one I could find for this song on amazon. Christmas Vacation the movie is standard fare in our household. We often quote the movie throughout the year. "It's a beaut, Clark." "That there's an RV." "Shitter was full." All these quotes can be frequently heard. Upon reflection, it seems like we are more obsessed with Cousin Eddie than the movie, in general, but I digress. This song is from the movie and doesn't seem to have much connection from the film. It is featured in the opening credits, but I don't think it is included in the movie itself. I'm not sure how it came about. Maybe someone's cousin needed a music plug. However it came to be used, I am grateful. It is actually a fun song. Check it out if you don't recall.

"Jingle Bell Rock" by Brenda Lee

If you have known me more than a couple hours, you will be able to guess why I like this song. It's all because of Mean Girls. Oh Lindsay, how you have fallen from grace. This movie is awesome. In this classic teen flick, the group of popular girls or "plastics" do a "sexy dance" to this at the talent show. They wear knee high boots and have some provocative, awkward grooves. Gretchen Weiners is falling from Regina George's favor and accidentally kicks the boom box playing this song off the stage. In a moment of brilliance, Kady cements her popularity by continuing the dance and finishing the tune by singing. Tina Fey joins in on the piano. The rest of the audience starts singing too. It's fabulous. If you don't like this song, fine. If you don't like this movie, you can't sit with us.



There are many more Christmas songs I love, except you Little Drummer Boy-you suck. I enjoy adding to the list every year. This coming December, I will be jamming to A Very She & Him Christmas by She & Him. This album came out last year, but I missed it somehow. I can't wait to hear Zooey Deschanel croon.

What do you listen to every year? What tunes should I add to my playlist?

*Amendment: The "Little Drummer Boy" mash up by David Bowie and Bing Crosby is acceptable.

The Bird

Does anyone else find chicken frightening? I'm talking here about the plastic-wrapped, Styrofoam plates of chicken in your grocery store. I find them somewhat terrifying. While I can admire a slab of beef, check out a chop of lamb, and adore cuts of fresh fish (truly fresh fish smells wonderful, in my opinion), raw chicken looks repulsive. 

The sad fact of the matter is that it looks gross because it kind of is gross. Almost all the chicken found at typical grocery stores comes from factory farms. The farms are truly horrific. I know that most people don't want to think of where their meat comes from. We like to maintain that cognitive disconnect. I understand. I struggle with it too.  I am not going to preach against factory farming chicken (or that lovely lamb and beef I once complimented) here. You can go check out the documentary Food Inc. streaming on Netflix or Amazon (it's scary-there is your warning). Let's just leave it at this statement: grocery store chicken is a travesty.

Okay, okay, I know I sound dramatic and I will admit that I have eaten grocery store chicken with the rest of them. I just have this visceral reaction to it now. I seem to have encountered some kind of mental barrier now that I am doing my own shopping and cooking. I know where grocery chicken comes from (it's bad-Alicia Silverstone would pass out) and I hate how that is represented by the sterile looking plastic packaging. Food shouldn't come in so much non biodegradable wrapping. There is absolutely no connection between the animal on the farm and the meat on the foam. My attitude towards farm vs. factory has been well-entrenched since childhood (check out my mother's awesome farm blog here) and is only refreshed when I dabble in Michael Pollan or watch episodes of Escape to River Cottage (seriously, go check it out-you will become ADDICTED!).

Besides the moral value of factory chicken, don't even get me started on the taste! Grocery store chicken is like tofu, a bland protein base. On my parents' farm, my mother has kept chickens for over 15 years now. It started off with just four Rhode Island Reds living in a converted farm outhouse and pecking around the yard. Now we have many different breeds. Some are for eggs, and some are for meat.

The roosting coop at my parents' farm. Picture from my mother's blog. 

My dad notoriously disliked chicken. He thought it was tasteless, boring, and dry. Then! He tried some farm raised chicken. It's amazing what a little nutritional variety and sunshine will do for a meat. He was amazed. You see, really good chicken doesn't need tons of buffalo sauce, taco seasoning, or ranch. It can stand on its own with some butter, herbs, and vegetables.

The chicks in their rotational grazing pen. It gets moved every day so they have fresh grass and new bugs. The pipe across is actually a waterer that is cleaner and easier than a bowl/bucket. This picture is also from my mother's blog.

I recently threw out a boneless, skinless Perdue chicken breast that had been sitting in my refrigerator. I was so upset about it. I didn't want to cook it because it grossed me out, but I hated to waste it. It felt like such a failed endeavor to finally toss it when it went bad, stewed in my ambivalence. I realized then, however, that I have a choice about what I eat and where it is from. Some people may like the distance of a plastic package, but I know I'm eating meat and that it was once a live animal. I want to make sure that animal didn't have a terrible life.

This rooster slightly frightens me in real life. I think he know this. Picture from my mother's blog. 

 It is time to reduce the guilt here. I'm not going to become a vegetarian. I eat meat a couple times a week. I still love beans and tofu and nut butters so I have my proteins covered. But I'm not interested in cutting meat out entirely. I want to eat meat, but I want to eat it conscientiously. I want my meat to have been raised well with lots of nutritional variety, movement, freedom of space, and sunlight.

This means giving up grocery store chicken. This means putting in more effort when it comes to shopping and sometimes a little more money. Do you know that in many European countries, it is normal that people spend over 50% of their income on food. Tally that in your head quickly. Do you spend that much? I know my weekly grocery budget is a lot lower than 50%. Americans want cheap food, but it comes at a hidden high price of poor quality, poorly produced meat. I'm not going all the way up to 50% for my food budget (Sallie Mae would probably wonder where their loan repayments went). However, I am resolved to focus more on the quality of what I am eating.

Not everything, of course, is going to be tutti-frutti, hot-patotti organic, free-range fancy pants around here. I love Jiffy cornbread and I'm not going to go find some Annie's version of it. I'm also not some dummy consumer that thinks that just because it says "all natural" on the packaging that it is somehow good. An organic pop-tart is still a pop-tart.

When it comes to some of the essentials, however, I am fixin' on making some changes. Turkey and chicken from a local farm that is about 15 minutes from my apartment (Landis Poultry Farm). My parent's food when I can get it (wink). Eggs from the same local farm (I could write an entire post why I despise grocery store eggs [Have you seen the color of a free-range egg yolk? Once you go there, you can't go back]). I am still throwing around the thought of raw milk as well. Whoa. Raw milk? You crazy, girl?

Probably, but that's a post for another day.

(Now she get's political? When it was election time she wrote an ode to undies, but a Perdue chicken makes her protest? Where are this girl's values?  In my kitchen.)


*Post Note: A mom recently explained why she buys organic pop-tarts. She knows that they aren't a health food. However, her kids really love pop-tarts and so she provides them in the most healthy way possible, without any artificial flavorings or colors. This makes sense. I get it.