Sick

'Tis the season for sickness. The news makes it sound like flupocalypse out there. It's enough to make you throw on a mask and bathe in antibac gel.

Well, if you are scared of germs, stay away from me. Luckily, it is only a cold virus that is surrounding me like a halo of snot and sadness. Still, colds just stink.

Here is an Rx that helps me out a little:

1. Food

When I am sick, all I want is spicy, brothy food and hearty greens.

This week, I made a simple soup. I caramelized one small yellow onion on medium/low heat in a little olive oil. Then, I added a little cumin, salt, and pepper and thew in 2 chopped celery stalks and 2 chopped carrots with a little bit of water. I let this simmer for a little (5 min) and then added a vegetable bullion cube and more water. Finally, I tossed in some noodles for the last 5 or so minutes. I topped the whole thing with a hearty dose of Sriracha. When you are sick, subtle flavors don't have much of an effect. I mostly was going for something to warm me up and clear out my head with a healthy dose of veggies.

I also really like kale. This super green is awesome at any time. When I am ill, I have a strong desire to load up on nutrients and I am not interested in those vitamin mix-in packets-too unnatural. I heard this simple kale recipe on the podcast The Splendid Table. I am a huge fan of this program-so much inspiration. I took a stalk of kale and ripped out the fibrous, tough spine. Then, I chopped it into thin strips and added a splash of olive oil and salt as suggested on the podcast. I wanted a little acid in the dish, so I squeezed a little orange juice over the whole thing. I later tried this again with lemon juice and it was horrible. Go with orange for a subtle acidity and flavor (and fresh, not the stuff in the carton).

2. Tea

I have a ridiculous collection of tea. PG Tips is the coffee of tea, so I drink this in the morning. I like Lady Gray tea from Twinings all day long. Genmaicha is also a delicious all day drink (Japanese green tea mixed with brown rice powder). For a special treat, I am obsessed with Davids Tea in Movie Night. Shipping is a bummer, so I try to ration this one. This tea tastes like apples and popcorn. It is naturally sweet and amazing. Anyone in NYC-I wouldn't mind you picking me up some. I will pay you and love you forever.

You can also make your own throat soother out of honey, lemon, and fresh chopped ginger root. This is a super awesome DIY cold treatment. The lemon strips of mucous (ewww). The honey soothes and is a microbial and the ginger is warming.

3. Steam

Get your humidifier fired up. I like to put in a drop or two of Eucalyptus essential oil to help me breath better. Keeping a humidifier in your bedroom works wonder for sleeping well. If you don't have a humidifier, sit in your shower for a while or just steam up your bathroom and read a magazine.

4. Soft Tissues

I forgot about this one and now my nose is red and looks terrible. I think the lotion added tissues really help. Also, putting a little Vaseline on your schnoz at night is a nice plan. Ugly, but nice.

5. Rest

I haven't worked out since I got sick. Of course, I feel the normal worry: What if I don't start up again? What if I get all out of shape? Ultimately, I had to put these worries aside. I know I will run again when I get better, even if I start a little slower. I want my body to put its energy towards fighting the virus, so I take a rest from working out.

6. Love

I feel a lot of self-pity and sadness when I am sick. I think the low energy that comes with colds makes me more susceptible to this. If you can find someone to brave the germs, have them give you a hug or pat your back. Feeling loved is pretty good medicine. I know that a cold really isn't a big deal. However, getting a little babied is more wonderful than anything else.

If this post is a little lackluster, that is because I feel like a gray, worn-out version of myself. I will be back with inventive vocabulary and novel posts soon. Just a little more sleep, broth, and back pats is all I need.

Sulk

I refuse to leave this carpet for the next 5 months.

Some days you get knocked out by life. Those days, you think to yourself,"If I had known about today, I would have refused to get out of bed." Then you think, "Ah, yes, bed. When can I return to You?" You wonder if you could just hole up in your house for the next 2 or 15 years or so until you can just bear to face life again.

This is a day for a sulk. I am not a proponent of always sinking into sorrow with every setback. I employ a multitude of coping techniques for stress/blues/yadda yadda like running, going outside for a walk, cleaning out a closet, ironing everything slightly wrinkly, cooking and baking, playing with my dogs, doing DIY house projects, etc. these are the things that work for me to diffuse and distract.

Nope, won't move.

Sometimes, however, you just need a good wallow. You don't want to move around like an efficient chipmunk. You especially don't want any jerk telling you that other people "have it worse" (I know they do-are you trying to add guilt on top of all these other poop emotions?).

What you want is to totally sulk. You want to sit on the couch in your robe or pajamas, cover yourself in blankets, and mind zone to a tv show that requires very little from you (my choice right now is old episodes of Frasier). Then, you want to warm up some dinner (no cooking. I was glad that a previous stress rush made me freeze a bunch of prepared meals).

Maybe you can get someone to come over and rub your back. Maybe that someone is your cat, dog, or a really soft afghan blanket.

You can't make me.

Feel free to listen to music that makes you sad. For tonight, I chose "Change Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke, "Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out" by Bessie Smith, and "Look At Me" by John Lennon. But your sad songs will probably be different. Karen Carpenter always makes me cry too...even the happy songs.

Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Choose a comforting movie with a good sob scene. I didn't have time for it tonight, but I always go for "Little Women." Oh my god, when Beth dies...my crying...it is just totally beyond what is acceptable. Don't even let me look at the cover of "P.S. I Love You." I cried from minute 2 until the next week with that one. When I was seven "Showboat" had the same effect (my weeping kind of frightened my grandmother).

Maybe have a bowl of raspberry sorbet with Hershey's syrup. Lay on the floor. Stare at the ceiling for a while.

Congrats, you now have had a good solid sulk. You took the time to swim around in your grump and grumble. You have given your brain the chance to process the crap that was your day.

Now go to sleep. Tomorrow will probably be better. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe

Anyway-I still have 11 seasons of Frasier to fall back on.

Fine. I will go to bed. Tomorrow should be better. 

Post Note: Tomorrow held a cold...

Hair Hair Everywhere

foil time=tabloid time

I have had every hair color: light blonde, dark blonde, brown, black, red. I have had feathers in my hair (remember that silly trend?). My hair has been bobbed, chopped off totally into a pixie, medium length, somewhat long, and even mulleted in a terrible incident in college.

I admire people with untouched hair that has never seen a bottle of dye. Their hair is much healthier than mine. Dry ends and fragility are the hallmarks of often altered tresses and I have spent a fortune on deep conditioners (Aussie 3 Minute Miracle remains a cheap perennial favorite). Plus, touch ups are a bitch on the wallet.

So my hair gets a little stressed. Sometimes I need to get some cut off to combat this. However...I doubt those virgin hair people have as much fun as I do.

When I change my hair, I feel like a whole new person. It is exhilarating. As a blonde, I feel fun. Red hair makes me feel mysterious. Brown and black hair makes me feel like I get taken more seriously.

Of course, hair color and cut does not actually equal real personality change. Obviously, I am still the same person and no one besides me really cares all that much.

I think that frequent hair changes are my adult expression of my childhood love of dress up. I loved playing dress up and slipping into another character for a while. Dress up was an integral part of my childhood play. My sisters and friends and I had some awesome pieces: a one shouldered pink sequined prom dress, a purple Oscar de la Renta full length skirt with a black velvet waist, pink jellies, long Little House on the Prairie type skirts. It was so much fun to throw on an 80s velvet and gold spangled gown and become a secret princess.

Now, I don't dress up as a princess, or Laura Ingalls, or a fantastic movie star, or a put upon Cinderella type (my dramatics have deep roots, apparently). Now I get to feel a little like Zooey Deschanel (my girl crush on her shows no signs of abating), Florence Welch, or Goldie Hawn in the 70s (love her bangs). It's silly and fun and one of those little joys that combats those life yuckies like Sallie Mae (I hate you forever), car insurance payments, winter, and real housewives.

So cheers to a new look for a new year and the continued celebration of playing dress up.

The new do

A Little Break

Source

It snowed here on the 26th and it has been gray and dark ever since. I am not the kind of person who gets excited about snow. I enjoy it only briefly (when I see the doodles romp through it) and then I get hit by the winter blues. Someday in the not so distant future, I really hope to be able to move somewhere where there is no snow and the days seem a little longer. Until then, I have some creative coping mechanisms.

Last night had a tropical theme. We made a dinner of flounder, mango and avocado salsa, and coconut rice.

I liked the salsa the best.

We threw on some Hawaiian music records (there are so many of these in thrift stores-why was this such an obsession?).

That's my silly ukulele.

We popped my summer lights on the Christmas "tree" and burned a tropical scented candle.

Time to take this baby down today.

We wanted to watch The Descendants to keep with the theme but could not find it on Netflix or in Redbox. Therefore, we settled for Wet Hot American Summer and giggled over Paul Rudd's hilarious mess hall scene.

I was always a sad excuse for a sorority girl, but I think that liking themed activities stuck with me. Anything to chase away the winter!

Holiday Round Up

hedgehog measuring cups-a present from my sister
a picture of grandma 

Our Christmas was a little nontraditional this year as my dad worked Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and my sister spent the time with her fiance's family. We did not celebrate the holiday fully until this evening. For those of us left behind, comfort was found in some Christmas movies (Love, Actually, White Christmas, The Family Stone) and finger foods ("Nothing says holidays like a cheese log." ~ Ellen DeGeneres).

One of the benefits of pushing Christmas later is that we actually did get a white one. We are all snowed in tonight up on the hill with about six or seven inches laying outside and few plows in sight. It was a peaceful holiday (Retraction: As I typed this last sentence, my dad started playing loud film clips on his iPad and my sister hollered to my other sister across the house. I spoke too soon. Between the iPad, random bursts of eardrum busting singing, French language practice, and howling dogs, there are no silent nights here). Despite the decibel level, we did some pleasant reminiscing, exchanged lovely gifts, and ate a Christmas goose. 

Christmas Brunch Fruit Salad (before Dad headed to work):
mangoes, blueberries, pomegranate seeds with a squirt of fresh lime juice

It was a nice Christmas. Not a perfect Christmas. The weird timing and one member of the family splitting the holiday for the first year was a little disconcerting. It didn't seem like an ideal Christmas and my discomfort with our Christmas not being absolutely perfect has been...discomforting.

Often, we build up our idea of what we think Christmas "should" be. Lovely photos on Pinterest, inspiring blogs, magazine articles, favorite holiday movies, cheesy made-for-TV movies, even Facebook posts-all of these sources send us the message that Christmas should be a magical, picturesque portrait of a family gathered together in peaceful perfection. This idea sets us up for disaster. 

When we expect a flawless holiday, even a slight deviation from this ideal makes us feel that we have failed (and worse, that everyone else has succeeded at the holiday and we should have been able to too). In reality, bad weather ruins travel plans, people are late, the flu strikes, the same problematic family dynamics persist, the oven won't get over 350 degrees, the dog brings down the Christmas tree, and people get tired, overstimulated, and grumpy. 

Christmas has a ridiculous anticipatory tradition. For at least a month (and even longer in the retail world), we prepare materially and mentally for the big day. That's right, a whole month for just one day. And into that day we pour all our expectations for gift giving and receiving, family behavior, entertaining and meals, and general cheer and joy. We want the full Christmas splendor: the favorite music, the twinkling lights, the perfect meals, and a full house of wonderfully behaved people. 

a holiday decoration that won't come down in January
Christmas lights in a tall blue Mason jar

Whew! I think that is far too much pressure on one day that has so much room for error. Something that is not ideal will occur during a Christmas in your life: a family fight, cancelled travel plans, stomach bugs, fussy children, etc. It's going to happen. Christmas being imperfect is far more statistically probable than Christmas being perfect. It's reality. It's life. 

I'm not a Grinch and I didn't have a bad Christmas. However, I do place too much importance on Christmas being a "perfect" experience and that often leaves me feeling fretful by the end of the day, like I didn't grasp the moment and transcend all the roadblocks to reach that postcard holiday. I think that if I had just tried harder, I could make myself and the holiday absolutely sublime and magical. 

In the end, this kind of perfection is too tall an order to fit down the chimney. In the end, it isn't that everyone and everything was perfect. In the end, what matters is that we tried. We loved each other enough, we loved this holiday and what it stands for enough to give it our best (best does not equal perfect). It will never be a perfect Christmas (unless you are a freak of nature, get incredibly lucky, or have the producers from The Hills setting up your life); accepting this gives more mental space to just enjoy Christmas for what it is-a nice window of time to get along with others as well as you can, a chance to say, "You are my family and/or friends and that means something to me." And if it doesn't work out, if your Christmas is a total disaster, you still have 364 days to cook, bake, give gifts, travel, celebrate, and interact with friends and family. 

So grab some grog, light up the crackling fire movie on Netflix, and smile a little at the people around you. Perfection isn't attainable, but the middle can be pretty nice too. 

The Christmas Goose

Top 5 List

It's that time of year again. December is quickly falling into 2013 and people are making their "Best Of" lists for 2012. Of course, since the world is ending in a few days (I'm glad my work Christmas sweater and cookie party is scheduled for the 20th), there is more pressure to make these lists extra thoughtful.

I considered making my own top 10 list for 2012, but then I realized that I can't exactly remember everything that has been engrossing me this year. Maybe I have been having a series of mini-strokes throughout 2012 because I can't draw my mind back through the whole year and analyze my pop culture consumption to figure out which ten things made the most impact.

I'm holding off on the brain scan for now. I am placing my bets on the fundamentals of memory. Memory isn't like a book with pages that you can flip back and forth; it is subjective and largely influenced by context and emotion. Sometimes we can't remember something without the trigger of a scent, feeling, sight, or another internal or external stimulus. I can't immediately pull my favorite things from 2012 from my brain. My gray  matter doesn't work that way.

By the way, I am very qualified to discuss memory (cough). I am an expert on basic psychology having spent four years studying it in no great depth at a liberal arts college. I had a rat that I taught to play soccer using chocolate milk as a reward. I felt sad for Little Albert. I memorized the personality disorders in the DSM-IV-TR, which I don't remember anymore...which doesn't really matter because the new DSM just came out and they changed anyway (only some, I know, calm down). These accomplishments (plus my super awesome B.A. in English) were obviously worth my 60K+ student debt, or as I like to call it- grad school application fee.

Snark aside (can you tell my monthly blood money to Sallie Mae is due?), I would like to add a very non-comprehensive pop culture "best of" list to all those being released in this personal megaphone we call the internet. This will not be a best of list for all of 2012. I can't think like that, or maybe I'm too lazy on this Sunday afternoon to be that reflective. This will not even be a best of list for things that came out in 2012. Oh no, I'm not that culturally relevant. Instead, this list is the top 5 TV shows that have been interesting/enjoyable to me in the past couple weeks/months that came out whenever. I can tell that this list will be a huge internet hit for its breadth, depth, and insight. Without further foot dragging, in no particular order:

1. Bones  

I've mentioned that I love this TV show before. I don't know why I so love this show. It deals with crime mystery and dead bodies-two thinks about which I care very little (ha, take that preposition). I think what draws me to this show is that it is largely character based. The murders aren't the most important part-the lives and the stories of the main characters are. I love Temperance Brennan, the socially awkward, brilliant forensic anthropologist. I adore Dr. Sweets, the psychologist (this actor shows up again in #2 of my list). Hodgins makes me laugh. Angela is cool. I care about their story lines. I know they are hyperbolic personalities, but I still love watching them. This show is available up to season 7 on Netflix (the streaming subscription-does anyone even do the DVDs anymore?).

2. Freaks and Geeks

This show is old and only has one season. Many people have criticized that this show only got one season so I won't add too much to that. Know this: I protest. It deserved more seasons. The cast-oh my god, the cast-is so blockbuster. This show was the equivalent to what the Mickey Mouse Club was for millennium pop stars. I have not watched the entire season because I want to savor it. Every other line is this fantastic nugget of gold. I can't even explain how much I love Sam (John Francis Daley now plays Dr. Sweets on Bones). I am sure that most of you are not so far behind the times and have witnessed the wonder that is this show. If you haven't, go. Now. It's on Netflix.

3. Escape to River Cottage

This was a British show about  Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, who apparently was a celebrity chef (not to me, but I guess to people across the pond), that came out in 1999. The reality show (which brings some respectability to the moniker "reality" show) follows Hugh as he leaves to big city for Dorset, which I am convinced is basically Eden. His goal is to create a self-sufficient farm and life in this rural area. His adventures are largely based on food (growing, catching, bartering, cooking, enjoying with friends). It is a freaking gem. You don't have to be a back to the lander to enjoy it (it might turn you into one though). He raises pigs,  makes prosciutto (from said pigs), helps manage overpopulation of deer and pigeons for his own gastronomic gain, consults with vegan spiritualists about a mice problem, etc. You can find it on You Tube starting here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOfNUrm8E40. There were subsequent seasons, so you can Hugh it up for many episodes.

4. Parks and Recreation

Well, duh. A lot of people love this show. Every actor is so on their game. There is a character for everyone. My dad might not get the John Ralpheo (Ralfeo?) jokes, but he loved Ron Swanson. I am a big April fan myself. Check it out on Netflix. I would actually start with Season 2, not Season 1. This show took a little time to get in its groove.

5. Downton Abbey

I met someone this summer who did the most spot-on impression of Lady Mary. It involved an exaggerated eye roll and a deep sigh of "Oh, Momma." I have since stolen this impression and done it (poorly) everytime someone mentions this show. Sometimes, I will bring this show up in conversation just so I can do this impression. I love this period drama set at the turn of the century England. The class drama! The romance! The soapiness! The costumes! Dame Maggie Smith! Ahhh! I'm obsessed. You can catch it if you have an Amazon Prime membership streaming free. Can you believe that PBS rolled this out? Can you?

So these are my TV obsessions of 2012ish. It isn't well organized, but what are ya gonna do? I am still hoping to jump on the Homeland bandwagon if someone can show me how to watch this for free. I also really want to catch Girls just so I can see what everyone was talking about (damn you, preposition!).

What have you been watching in 2012...ish?


Post Note: My cute Christmas tree did not make it until the 25th. The poor little thing dried out. I wanted to keep it until Christmas, but there were needles everywhere and it was just depressing me. I gave it water, but it wouldn't take it. Hunger strike, I guess. I pitched them and the tree. All was not lost, however. I decorated my advent tree (which has been super-duper fun), which I might actually like better. I know it is grinchy of me to prefer this to a real tree, but it takes up so much less space. #tinyapartmentproblems.

Success! (out of failure)

Rage Run

It was one of those days. The kind in which you can feel your blood pressure rising with each passing half hour. Even your scalp gets itchy with agitation. You know you have to do something or you might explode, or implode if you are feeling polite and don't want to offend others.

There are a lot of ways to relieve the beach ball of pressure lodged against your frontal lobe. Some are better than others. Hitting the bottle (of jugo), going to Target and clearing out the makeup clearance section, driving fast (75!) on the highway, listening to Kelly Clarkson on repeat, shouting at strangers in your car where they can't hear you, faced away from them so they don't read your lips-these all are far too destructive. 

Instead, I like to rage run. Rage running is throwing your running clothes on when you get home from work and sprinting like the wind when you hit the pavement-and by wind I mean a puffy breeze that thinks it's bad ass. You clomp down the sidewalk listening to Lady Gaga until the anger floats away on your huffing breath, or you feel like throwing up. Also, don't attempt this with one of those built-in bra running shirts that you also wear with a sports bra. I tried this once in college and almost passed out in a snow bank. I didn't realize that I was actually smothering myself. 

So now that the rage has dissipated (didn't throw up, just spit a lot!), I am trying to make a list of good things to bring me back up to a happy level, or more likely a nice, normal mid-line. 

1. My order of fancy David's Tea came in and I like the Movie Night one. It takes like apples and popcorn. It's different and yummy. I forgot to get a tea ball so I have a makeshift drainer out of my hotpot filter, but it's still good.

2. My advent tree has been a really fun activity. Our treat yesterday was hedgehog candles. Oh, woodland creatures! It is illegal to have a hedgehog as a pet in Pennsylvania. I already checked. Let me know if this changes. I wants.

3. I watched Sarah Silverman's standup Jesus is Magic on Netflix. I have never seen her before and it was a real treat. She reminds me that it is okay, as a female, to not always be super polite. I won't act like her because it would be crude not funny coming from me, but I like that someone is really far down on the spectrum of semi-acceptable behavior and that makes me feel more normal. 

4. Season 7 of Bones came out on Netflix. Hmm, I might need to step away from the Netflix. 

On the flip side-the bad side-the dark side, I found out that the Hobbit is going to be a trilogy, not just one movie. Peter Jackson, why? My bf and I just watched the 3 Lord of the Rings movies and it took us 7 days to get through them. I can't do that again. I just can't. 

Rage run time again. Just kidding. I'm on the couch now, so I won't be moving until it's time to go to bed.