Things that are important but hard to remember

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In almost every circumstance,

it is more important to be kind,

than to be right. 

New Domesticity?

I really like listening to podcasts. I originally got into them this summer when I was looking for a free option to audiobooks (damn, those get pricey!) to listen to during car trips. Now I listen to them when I exercise, cook, and clean my house. I love the broad variety of information, opinions, and entertainment that podcasts offer.

One of my favorite podcasts is Stuff Mom Never Told You from HowStuffWorks.com. This podcast offers an examination of different pop culture, historical, and everyday issues from a feminist perspective.

Recently, Stuff Mom Never Told You featured an episode about something called "New Domesticity," which is the recent resurrection (fueled by the internet and social media) in traditional homemaking, handicrafts, family styles, and child-rearing activities that are so prominently featured on online sources like Pinterest, personal living blogs, Instagram, etc. "New Domesticity" includes a broad range of activities: knitting, sewing, cleaning, cooking from scratch, bread making, canning, preserving, crafting, attachment-style parents, raising chickens, homeschooling-the list goes on and on. If you've been on Pinterest, you know what I am talking about.

In the podcast, Cristen, one of the hosts of Stuff Mom Never Told You, interviewed Emily Matchar, who has a blog on the subject and a book (Homeward Bound) coming out in May.

The entire interview was very thought-provoking for me because I had never considered the things I like to do and learn about (creating my new home, cooking, and baking) as a "new" concept. I also had never really considered them a feminist concept. I love cooking food, so does my mother, so too does Mark Bittman. I like creating my new home, but my father also strives to do this too. I have always considered creating a home, cooking in it, and cleaning it not as an issue of feminism, but just as one of those things that grownups do. I've never looked at my role as a woman cooking and cleaning, just as a person.

Likewise, there was another aspect of the episode that has had me thinking for the past couple days. This was one piece that I have really been pondering because it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. In the interview, Cristen asked Emily if she noticed a trend in the type of women who embraced this new domesticity and who avidly shared it on social media. Emily replied that she did notice some common aspects of these women: (1) they were intelligent, creative, and highly educated and (2) they did not have careers that challenged them creatively (either because they had forgone their careers for motherhood, were underemployed, or were not in jobs that challenged their creative minds).

Here is what has really been bothering me about this: I don't like the implication that domestic tasks are something women seek only when their careers don't work out for them. I don't embrace the concept that domesticity is a fall-back activity. I think this mindset perpetuates the feminist claim that domestic tasks, those traditionally done by women, are less valued. Do women seek out these traditional "women's work" activities only when they have exhausted the superior employment of building a professional career? Is this causation, or just correlation?

On this subject, I am going with another interpretation. New domesticity is not the refuge of a failed career, it is just another creative outlet that allows women and men to be constructive in their immediate surroundings that is just as important as career-world work. I do not see it as a transfer of energy from career to home, from the outside world to the inside world, that happens when things don't go so well professionally. Instead, it is just another outlet for creative energy to thrive in a very palpable (and palatable if cooking is your thing), observable way that many people, men or women, find intrinsically satisfying and comforting. New domesticity isn't something you retreat to as a second choice, it is just another medium for expression that is just as valuable and enjoyable as heading off to work Melanie Griffith style.

I don't think that I like to refinish furniture, find interesting ways of including more kale in my diet, or more natural cleaning alternatives because I don't like my job. I believe that I am creative in my career and at home, that these two separate factions in my life just call for different kinds of creativity-both of which are equally important.

Rage Run

It was one of those days. The kind in which you can feel your blood pressure rising with each passing half hour. Even your scalp gets itchy with agitation. You know you have to do something or you might explode, or implode if you are feeling polite and don't want to offend others.

There are a lot of ways to relieve the beach ball of pressure lodged against your frontal lobe. Some are better than others. Hitting the bottle (of jugo), going to Target and clearing out the makeup clearance section, driving fast (75!) on the highway, listening to Kelly Clarkson on repeat, shouting at strangers in your car where they can't hear you, faced away from them so they don't read your lips-these all are far too destructive. 

Instead, I like to rage run. Rage running is throwing your running clothes on when you get home from work and sprinting like the wind when you hit the pavement-and by wind I mean a puffy breeze that thinks it's bad ass. You clomp down the sidewalk listening to Lady Gaga until the anger floats away on your huffing breath, or you feel like throwing up. Also, don't attempt this with one of those built-in bra running shirts that you also wear with a sports bra. I tried this once in college and almost passed out in a snow bank. I didn't realize that I was actually smothering myself. 

So now that the rage has dissipated (didn't throw up, just spit a lot!), I am trying to make a list of good things to bring me back up to a happy level, or more likely a nice, normal mid-line. 

1. My order of fancy David's Tea came in and I like the Movie Night one. It takes like apples and popcorn. It's different and yummy. I forgot to get a tea ball so I have a makeshift drainer out of my hotpot filter, but it's still good.

2. My advent tree has been a really fun activity. Our treat yesterday was hedgehog candles. Oh, woodland creatures! It is illegal to have a hedgehog as a pet in Pennsylvania. I already checked. Let me know if this changes. I wants.

3. I watched Sarah Silverman's standup Jesus is Magic on Netflix. I have never seen her before and it was a real treat. She reminds me that it is okay, as a female, to not always be super polite. I won't act like her because it would be crude not funny coming from me, but I like that someone is really far down on the spectrum of semi-acceptable behavior and that makes me feel more normal. 

4. Season 7 of Bones came out on Netflix. Hmm, I might need to step away from the Netflix. 

On the flip side-the bad side-the dark side, I found out that the Hobbit is going to be a trilogy, not just one movie. Peter Jackson, why? My bf and I just watched the 3 Lord of the Rings movies and it took us 7 days to get through them. I can't do that again. I just can't. 

Rage run time again. Just kidding. I'm on the couch now, so I won't be moving until it's time to go to bed. 

                                                                                                              

Very Important Things

Of all the very important things that filled my day, the following are the most significant:

This a cell-phone case found here. Don't eat it, dummy. 

1. My apartment is downwind from a Kellogg factory. Pop-Tarts are American-made. I know this, because on baking day the sweet smell infuses the air for a five mile radius. It. Is. Amazing. Pop-Tarts are kind of gross in real life and they give me a heart-stopping sugar rush. I'm not a patron of the blue box. However, when you catch a whiff of strawberry and frosting on the breeze, it is pretty delicious. I don't like to eat Pop-Tarts, but if you do, you know you are supporting a home grown company (without having to buy a Ford or an even more expensive weird jumper/harem/body suit piece of clothing from American Apparel).

2. Goldendoodles are the best creature on the planet-this category includes all humans. (Sorry cats, but you lose because you can't fly).

Yes, those pictures were gratuitous. But that's what the best things in life are to me-hilarious, silly, and a little unnecessary. Happy Monday everyone!